Within the path of Jana Kramer back to happiness after so much distress

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A few years ago, Jana Kramer I did not dare to imagine being in this position. Or, he imagined it, but he had little reason to think it would come true.

the 90210 and One tree hill Actress who became a country music artist and now ripped from the experience of life, the podcaster nominated for the People’s Choice Award went through long before the birth of her son Jace Joseph Caussin, her second child with a husband Mike Caussin.

Having celebrated Jace's first birthday, Kramer would be the first to say it was all worth it.

The struggle to maintain a positive attitude on the road to the conception of a healthy baby could only have made anyone go crazy, and Kramer openly admitted that he had some really bad days after suffering miscarriages before and after having his first son his daughter Jolie Rae Caussin.

And then there was the understandable concern that she wasn't building a life with the right man. Let vu again.

"If Jana and I can go through the pain we have both felt for our situation, that, in the middle of everything, did you ever think it was going to disappear?" Chaussin asked his wife a year ago about an early episode of what was then just his podcast. "Never," Kramer replied. "Me neither," he agreed.

"Never," she said. "And it's still there once in a while, but it decreases over time."

These two, now co-hosts of Complain with Jenna Kramer and Mike CaussinThey continue to work hard to hold on to what they have, but, as Kramer said, they are "in "Unlike how he felt about the two dress rehearsals that came before.

"I really wouldn't call them marriages, I'd call them flashes of things," Kramer began. To complainThe first episode of the episode with a wink at two times he married before settling with Caussin.

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"One I met when I was 19 and we went to Las Vegas. The other one I was only married for a week and now is my best friend," he continued. My number 1 husband was Michael Gambino, and his organized union in Las Vegas was quickly canceled. Her second husband was an actor Johnathon Schaechwhom he met shooting Night dance. As mentioned, the main problem was that she "was doing well, he was going to the left."

Just divorced from Christina Applegate When they started dating ("he called me Christina so many times,quot;), Shaech was based in Los Angeles, while Kramer was ready to go to Nashville to pursue his musical career. After leaving and leaving for three years ("every time I had a good relationship, I always came back,quot;), I was finally ready to commit. They got married on July 4, 2010 and, as he walked down the hall, Kramer realized he hadn't done the right thing. In fact, he had canceled the wedding two weeks before, but expressed the interests of everyone else (including the OK! exclusive they had agreed) before theirs. A divorce was in process days later.

"I wanted to have that beautiful day, I wanted to fall in love with him … would we ever have worked? No. Not at all, "he concluded.

Now they laugh at that, and Kramer describes both Schaech and his wife: Julie Solomon, like two of her best friends. Even his children are close.

Still, being the "love junkie at the core,quot; she admits she is, Kramer continued to look for Mr. Right.

Once established in Music City, where he recorded his self-titled debut album, he began to go out in silence with the country singer Brantley Gilbert, whom she met at the CMT Music Awards in June 2012. Kramer was shy about her new boyfriend that November at the CMA Awards, but he was there for her when she ended up needing a trip to the hospital to get treatment for exhaustion and dehydration. The following month, just on his birthday.

Rick Diamond / Getty Images

A few weeks later, she said about her boyfriend that she wasn't on the radar before: "I'm really happy. It's so wonderful that I can't stop smiling around her. She surprises me with gifts,quot; just because. "

A month later, Gilbert rented the Nashville Ryman Auditorium and proposed marriage in the historic place on January 20, 2013, his 28th birthday, and, although apparently again he had reservations, he said yes.

"I was very surprised!" Kramer said People then. "He asked my mother for permission before proposing it, which meant a lot to me."

In April 2013, she was named Best Female Artist at the ACM Awards, a blunt validation of the sweat and tears she had put to achieve her country music dream. That summer she opened for Blake shelton on his tour ten times crazier.

But their relationship with Gilbert worsened at the same time, and in August 2013 they had suspended their commitment.

"Brantley and I … I'm writing or he is in the studio, and we block those days (to spend together), but then we fill them with work stuff," Kramer had lamented before the separation. We weeklyAnd indeed, the word was that their competitive schedules had exceeded them. (Ironically, that advice about the importance of blocking days to be together had come from Shelton's then wife, Miranda Lambert.)

Evan Agostini / Invision / AP

"I will be completely honest with you. That little girl is wonderful," Gilbert, whose break with Kramer inspired his album Just as I amHe told Seattle 100.7 The Wolf in April 2014 (according to The Boot).

"I love her to death. I care about her. She will make someone a wonderful and wonderful wife, and a wonderful and wonderful mother. But between her and me, the situation exists where it just didn't work out. And that's the case. Some things. they happened and it didn't work. But we still talk. I think her world. She is one of the most genuine people I know. And that is the honest truth to God. I think the world of that little girl. "

Kramer took some time off to recharge in 2014. "For the first time in my life, I was happy to be alone," he said. We weekly about that period after the division. He arrived at the studio and appeared here and there, as in an episode of Dancing moms, but it wasn't until the November CMA Awards that he talked about the separation.

"I was in a very unhealthy place and I chose a very unhealthy relationship," he shared with 94.3 / 97.3 The Wolf. "And now I'm in a healthy place and I'm very happy, and (Gilbert) is clearly happy too, so … In the end everything went well."

"We are all in better places," he added, "and I have moved on. I have an amazing boyfriend."

Gilbert, who recently talked about past struggles with addiction, ended up reconnecting with an old love (whom he met in the church 10 years before and who was "mostly,quot; for five years), teacher Amber Cochranand they got married in 2015.

The "amazing boyfriend,quot; Kramer spoke of was NFL player Mike Caussin, who finally retired after joining but never played for the Washington Redskins in the summer of 2014, injuries accumulated in the tight end of James University Madison from Virginia.

Rick Diamond / Getty Images for IMC

Kramer and Caussin first met on Twitter in June 2014, easily the highlight of social networks to date for the singer of "I Got the Boy,quot;, who knows well the forms of Internet trolls and other comments Critics online.

"It's the new Match.com, I guess," he joked to Billboard in April 2015. (Most importantly, he fell in love the moment he met him in person).

But although he described Caussin as "incredible,quot; in November 2014, they had already resisted a difficult patch.

"Never trust anyone," he had tweeted that August, two days after he tweeted about being excited to see his wonderful girlfriend. "This is to be ALONE again," Kramer added.

They reconciled quickly, and Caussin proposed on December 2, 2014, Kramer's 31st birthday.

"I was in such a good and healthy place that everything just fit in, it was easy," Kramer said. We weekly 11 days before your wedding. "He is a great listener, we communicate very well together and have a lot of fun. It just works." Also, "I always said that my best job would be to be a mom and he will be the best father. It will be a great chapter for us."

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The couple dived immediately and married in a small ceremony in Charlottesville, Virginia, on May 22, 2015. Wanting to start a family immediately, they decided to do IVF after unable to conceive.

"We only had three embryos and implanted the two embryos. I ended up getting pregnant but we had a very, very early chemical loss," Kramer shared in July in a video that reflects his tortuous journey to become a mother of two.

Finally, she and Caussin ended up conceiving naturally and their daughter Jolie was born on January 31, 2016.

Four or five months later, Kramer became pregnant again. "It was much earlier than I wanted, but I was still very, very happy," he said in his July video. "But I ended up losing that baby about seven and a half weeks."

Shortly after that, unfortunately, the ghosts of their first days of dating would return to chase Kramer.

In August 2016, she revealed that she and Caussin had separated; later, it turned out that he had been informed that he had cheated on her several times, with several women. Caussin sought treatment for sex addiction, but Kramer decided to disconnect him.

So Kramer had apparently once again walked down the hall with a sinking sensation in the pit of his stomach, but was in love and hoped for the best.

"He told his friends that he really believed that cheating would never happen again," a source said. We After the split

In the wake of his personal tribulations, Kramer put a little encouragement on his step that he ran Dancing with the stars, where he finished fourth. Behind the already emotional recording of BTS that reflected the difficult times he was going through, combined with the pleasure of finally being a mother, Kramer and Caussin were raising and trying to fix things.

His efforts included couples therapy and, in early 2017, a counseling retreat (such as Marriage Boot Camp, alone without a million strangers watching), although a reconciliation mainly required a real effort by Caussin to change.

"The point is that, until someone wants to change himself, there is no amount of therapy, you can't talk about it until you make that decision for yourself," he said. To complain in May 2018.

"She said:" Look, I'm giving you all the opportunities. I'm here. I'm willing to work on this. I want this family to work. " Basically, take a step forward or exit, "Caussin recalled." And it reached the point of an ultimatum and that is where I reached my breaking point. She reached her breaking point. I hit mine. "

Finally, he realized, "I don't want to lose her. I don't want to lose Jana. I don't want to lose our family. I don't want to lose what we're trying to build."

Kramer, who as a daughter of divorced parents never wanted to be in a situation where she would divorce after having children, also dedicated herself to making it work.

After deciding that, in fact, they would stay together, they wanted to expand their family as soon as possible, and she became pregnant in October 2017. But then she suffered another miscarriage, the third in general.

"1-3," Kramer wrote on Instagram. "Today I have 1-3. I debated publishing this for the exact reason why it is a silent struggle. I don't want to apologize or sympathy. I just don't want to feel alone. And I know I'm not. Unfortunately, this is not my first loss. When I discovered that I was pregnant, I wanted to shout it from the rooftop, but I know that for reasons like this we have to wait. So, since we don't count many, we have to suffer in silence … and suffering in silence was my thing in the past, but not is now ".

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Finally, in the long term, Kramer and Caussin symbolically pressed the reset button by renewing their votes in December 2017 in Hawaii.

"2017 …… … you broke my heart, you broke me, you made me question everything, but damn, you made me strong," Kramer wrote on Instagram next to photos of the ceremony next to the beach. "You taught me to be patient, you taught me that family was everything. You made me believe not only in myself but in the power of forgiveness. You made me the woman I always wanted to be."

She continued: "I have no idea what 2018 holds for me, but I have never been more ready to live day by day and enjoy every day as it occurs to me. This is always to believe in love and fight for it … ..2018, I'm ready for you! "

Tara Ziemba / FilmMagic

In that first episode of Complain with Jana Kramer, which he recorded a few weeks before its premiere on May 7, Kramer said cheerfully: "I am now married and have been married for: it will be three years in May. Happily, a couple of months."

Meanwhile, Caussin suggested that they try to implant the third embryo they had left of 2015, a child, and that resulted in another chemical loss.

But in June 2018, Kramer revealed that, after another tortuous trip, they were expecting a baby.

"It's such a scary process because it's a real miracle," the singer acknowledged. "I mean, it seems very easy when you look at some people, but on other occasions it is as if it were a miracle … We lost our last two pregnancies, so it has been really difficult."

Finally, Kramer felt as if everything had fallen into place.

"It has been almost like our second chance we could, and (Mike) has been able to do it the right way, where the first one was perhaps not in the right place or maybe not as present," he told AND! August news. "Now I know that I have a very present husband, so this pregnancy feels more connected and more like a team."

Kramer admitted that it was not easy to deal with people who could not understand why she chose to stay with her husband after he annoyed her publicly, but at the end of the day it was her choice, and she feels she made the right decision. .

"In the early years, it won't seem like you'll ever get there, but there's always a positive side and that's what we're trying to tell people," he continued. "I think people want to see that relationships give it a chance and not just throw it away."

Kramer added: "We still have our days, but now we can verbalize, like when the triggers appear and things like that."

"Ten out of 10 women would probably have left in Jana's shoes and situation," Chaussin also told E! News. "But over time, she could see that she wanted to work on that. She wanted to fight and against all the family members, friends, all those around her, against all her advice, she decided to stay. And that still surprises me until the day of today ".

Meanwhile, they continued to go to therapy, both together and individually, and the former CW star said that sometimes, given that couple therapy is so close, she walked home alone one session to clear her head.

Awaiting the birth of his second son, Kramer could not deal with idle hands, they do not adapt to his anxiety, so Christmas decorations rose early when he imagined what life would be like as the mother of two children. At that time, he couldn't wait to do certain activities (tennis and teach Jolie to ice skate, to name a couple) after his son was born.

"… everyone says oh baby will come soon, so enjoy the downtime. A little idea for me … I'm not doing well with the downtime!" She noticed on Instagram.

On November 29, 2018, they shared that Jace had arrived. "Our hearts are so full," Kramer wrote. "Thanks to all our friends and family … and to all who have supported Mike and me, and our growing family."

Caussin recorded everything, including the fact that Kramer was prepared to have a C-section, for the podcast.

Asked why To complain He had found such a devoted audience, Kramer told E! News in September at the SoCalCountry festival of iHeartRadio, "Because we don't stop and talk about real things and we don't sweeten anything and we're not like, & # 39; Our marriage is perfect & # 39; no. We really got into a fight along the way and we are going to talk about it. We are very open and honest about our struggles, which opens the door for our listeners to have the same experience and can relate. "

Christopher Polk / E! Entertainment / NBCU Photo Bank through Getty Images

Meanwhile, Kramer and Caussin continued, in unequivocal terms, job in their marriage.

"I wish it was a complete and perfect fairy tale, but it isn't," he said at the premiere of To complain. "At the end of the day, it could be, if you really work on it, and both partners are willing to work on it, then you can have a beautiful relationship."

(Originally published on November 30, 2018 at 3 a.m. PT)